So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
