he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize