My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
