I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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