I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
