I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
