I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
