Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
