May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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