i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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