I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just high enough for therapy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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