you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
