So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well I just put wine in my tea
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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