How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
high people should be assigned attendants
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
