I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
