she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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