lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
