A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Your penis caused this!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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