i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
