she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
