Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
