Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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