So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
