Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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