addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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