Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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