You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
