At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
