Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
