i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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