come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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