I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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