Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
