That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
