im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
