apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
