i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
