My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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