just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
