we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
