if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
