Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
