New invention idea: vibrating tampons
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
