I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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