so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize