sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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