Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
