I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sorry my hands just texted you
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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