oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
