I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
