The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize