Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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