you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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