I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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