Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
