Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
