do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
