Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
