nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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