Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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