Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
People in love make me want to vomit
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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